CIA Forms New Division, Stop Terrorists From Uniting (STFU)

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) — On the heels of forming its new WikiLeaks Task Force (WTF), the CIA said it was establishing a new division called Stop Terrorists From Uniting (STFU).

CIA director Leon Panetta spoke about the agency’s plans for both WTF and STFU at the CIA’s new headquarters, the Langley Operations Location (LOL).

“We are very excited about these new divisions,” Mr. Panetta said. “Here at LOL, the words on everyone’s lips are WTF and STFU.”

The CIA director said that the agency was about to announce the formation of another new division, the Langley Mobile Foreign Antiterror Organization (LMFAO).

“When we talk about our anti-terror efforts from now on, the first thing you’ll think of will be LMFAO,” he said.

Mr. Panetta excused himself for a closed door meeting of the National Security Forces Workgroup (NSFW). More here.


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